There are the books that become cult. Famous, so famous and monstrous famous over time. You cannot criticise the book even after you see many flaws (according to you) because many others have praised it already and there is no space left for new criticism to come into play. Is it fair? You can keep asking yourself the question while I unfold a new assignment for the day – The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The full title of the book is The Five Love Languages: the secret to love that lasts. Yes, too long and maybe boring too. However, the content is a little lesser boring than this one.
“The person who is “in love” has the illusion that his beloved is perfect. His mother can see the flaws but he can’t. His mother says, “Darling, have you considered she has been under psychiatric care for five years?” But he replies, “Oh, Mother, give me a break. She’s been out for three months now.”
The reason vs emotion play. Seeing what you want to see. These things might not surprise modern readers. However, the author has a very important message here. Yes, falling in love is purely emotional. However, is Chapman hinting to employ rational as well?
The book is a classic tale of science and a ‘tail’ of the body of ideas that will lead you across the river of emotional outburst and rational ignorance – a trademark of being foolishly in love with someone. From what I could gather, the author first suggests that only the heart cannot be privy to your love affairs. If that happens, sooner of later, your mind will wake up and smell the coffee. That’s based on scientific evidence, research and reports by various psychiatrists and researchers and many of them have been quoted or discussed by Gary in this book. He seems to have used a classic technique that many ancient and traditional dramatists used. Expose the folly, repair it and sign off.
The book may be helpful to those husbands and wives who might be waking up, rather late, to the idea of their love for each other (that used to be, once, warm) drying up. The book has 14 chapters. The five chapters which are dedicated to languages of love are about telling good words, spending time with each other, exchanging gifts, helping each other out with work and making love… These are the highlights that you need to know because this is what the title promises to deliver – the five love languages.
Other chapters in the book are more of a probing nature than being helpful for the readers who want to understand how to express their love or how to know if someone wants to do the same. The author has been a little, if not too much, technical enough to make the common readers go away. Love is something that can certainly be explained in the terms of fluid discharges inside and outside but the person who is in love cannot accept it… at least at the face value! The author has his money in those five chapters. Otherwise, you are signing up for some philoso-psycho-technical jargon… case studies and research works.
I cannot be judgemental in this case. It is up to you, as a reader, if you want to read it or not. If you can be patient and try to understand the rationale behind love, you must read the book. If you want real-world advice, you may look for other titles. If you are interested, you can get a copy of the book from Amazon India right now by clicking the link below:
Review by Ashish for Indian Book Critics
The Five Love Languages: the secret to love that lasts by Gary Chapman – Review
- IBC Critical Rating
The Five Love Languages: the secret to love that lasts by Gary Chapman is a book that tells you how to fall in love and how to maintain your love after a wedding!